Mel lay her head against Tom’s bare shoulder and pulled the ribbon suggestively from her glittering surprise gift.
‘Soooo...,’ she purred, ‘I sure hope this monster vibrates real good...’
‘Dual pleasure, baby. Just like you wanted.’
Tearing the pheromone-drenched wrapping paper one slow strip at a time, Mel revealed an unpalatably gaudy logo and nearly choked on her own tongue.
‘The Evil Editor “Lunatic Doppelganger Revolver Attack” Poseable Action Figure Playset? What the fuck are you playing at, Tom?’
‘Whoops, wrong girlfriend—‘