Sunday, July 13, 2008

Horror Story 7

A wicked grin twisted his dry, blood-caked lips. “I’m here, my lovely,” he rasped, coming around the corner, jagged knife raised.

The figure cowered against the wall screamed, a shrill, piercing cry. “Please! No!”

“What the…” The man with the knife swore loudly. “What is this supposed to be?”

“Please, please don’t hurt me!”

“Where’s the hot girl? I was promised a buxom blonde who mysteriously has various articles of clothing torn off until she’s standing there screaming in a bra and some ripped up pants. Not ideal, but it’s PG-13, after all. What do I get? Some fat, mutton-chopped man in a three piece suit! What kind of low-budget crap is this?”

The man’s look of terror faded. He glared over his pince-nez. “I happen to be excellent prey. People all over the world would like to viciously murder me.”

“Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that.” He lowered the knife, glowering. “I only took this insane serial killer gig for the chicks. No way I’m gonna try and cut through all of the layers of suit and skin to kill you, Buddy. Go find yourself another psycho.” Shaking his head and muttering, he limped away.

The man in the suit watched him go. Never before had he been on the receiving end of rejection, and it cut deeper than any jagged knife would have. “People everywhere would pay to see me killed,” he muttered, pouting. “Maybe if I went blonde…”

--Kiersten

12 comments:

Dave F. said...

But put EE in a chiffon dress like Fay Wray wore in Kong.
Very funny. A nice rip on romance novels.

fairyhedgehog said...

Kiersten this is priceless. You really are very talented.

freddie said...

Kiersten, you are on a roll.

WouldBe said...

Very funny. Before we know it, serial killers will be unionizing.

--Bill H.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I had to get past the over-the-top drama here, then the twist on who was more Evil! Good one!

ME

ril said...

Lower budget than a low budget stalk-n-slash movie! And the unending horror of rejection. Horrifyingly good.

talpianna said...

Kiersten, this is great! You're not merely on a roll, you're on a croissant!

wendy said...

Nice one!

Kiersten said...

lol, thanks all. Especially Tal. That's me--flaky, buttery goodness. Also full of calories.

Wes said...

Oh, Kiersten, you wrote "crap"!

A wonderful scene! I especially like the bit about suffering rejection!! Nice job.

Kiersten said...

Hmmm...crap must be a worse word than I think it is. Everyone always seems very shocked when I use it.

sylvia said...

Ah, now I understand your other comment about saying crap. I didn't even notice it until I hit the comments!