I am so sorry about your recent hospitalization. Who knew that having a stress fracture in your index finger was so dangerous? I’m overwhelmed with guilt. If only I could restrain myself from commenting on every single thing you post, maybe you wouldn’t have been injured hitting “accept” so often. I’m sure you also (rightfully) blame me for the dozens of comments on arguments I seem to inadvertently set off every week or so.
I cried when Mrs. V told me she had to call 911 after you collapsed from the pain. I’m so relieved your prognosis is good and the doctors expect you and your precious right index finger to make a full recovery. I’m sending you a replacement mouse for the one you wore out trying to accept all of my comments, along with several dozen batches of cookies. I’ll gladly cover the cost of your hospitalization as well.
I should probably promise to stop commenting so much to save your finger any further strain, but we both know I can’t help myself. Perhaps you could let Mrs. V take over accepting duty for a few weeks while you recover. And, if the stress injury starts flaring up again, feel free to ignore comments. Just not mine. Ignore that jerk, Anonymous. She didn’t even respond to my emails asking for help covering your medical costs.
I hope you liked the muffins, flowers, balloons, singing telegram, and manuscript I sent wishing you a speedy recovery.