"Say, Larry, how would you like it if I cut off your balls?"
"Jesus Christ!" Larry said, as he swerved to avoid oncoming traffic. "You talked? You can talk? Dogs can talk?"
Buster, who was sitting next to Larry, repeated the question. "How would you like it if I cut off your balls?"
Larry wrenched the truck to the side of the road, killed the engine and rolled down the window. His hand trembled as he lit a Camel and inhaled deeply. Buster just sat there watching.
"You talked? Oh, God, I must sound crazy asking a dog if he can talk. But you did talk, didn't you. I heard you -- right?"
"Yeah, Larry, I can talk."
"Since when? I mean, why haven't you talked before now?"
"We communicated very well, up until now."
"And now you want to cut off my balls. That's where you're taking me now, right?"
"Y'gotta understand, Buster, it's not my idea. It's Gloria's. She thinks if you're neutered you'll stop lifting your leg on everything."
"You piss on the bathroom floor and you haven't been neutered."
Larry laughed. "Yeah, well, my balls may still be attached to my body but Gloria's the one who's got'em."
"Tell you what, Larry, if I promise never to piss in the house again, will you let me keep my balls?"
He took a long pull on his cigarette and scratched Buster behind his ear. "It's a deal, although I'll probably be sleeping with you for a couple of nights. C'mon, let's go home."
"Could we stop by the park on the way? I want to check my pee-mail."