Thursday, April 03, 2008

Q & A 141 Do agencies hire hitmen?

Several agents are listed on AgentQuery as actively soliciting queries, yet the websites of some of the agencies they work for say no submissions will be accepted and dire consequences are threatened if you send a query (ICM for example). How should this contradiction be interpreted?

I went there and searched for ICM and it listed several agents who don't accept queries and a couple who do. Possibly they have a couple new people trying to build a list. Another possibility is that they changed a policy and made no effort to inform each of the dozens of web sites that have their guidelines posted.

You're concerned that if you query an agent there whose AgentQuery write-up says they accept queries, but they really don't, they may hire Kit Whitman, the lit man's hitman, and the shit will hit the fan. I'm kidding, but I think it's a great idea for a novel. Authors are being murdered and a detective finally discovers that they all sent queries to the same literary agency. But which agent at the agency is hiring a hitman to assassinate query submitters? Could it be Agent Kristin? Miss Snark? This is solid gold. Somebody write it.


iago said...

Generally, advice I've read suggests to believe what it says on the agent's web site above what it says on any other source.

Khazar-khum said...

This sounds like a job for--


talpianna said...

Have you read the lovely Woody Allen parody in which literary criticism is treated as a form of porn? It's called "The Whore of Mensa" and is online here:

Wes said...

But would anything be at stake if a couple of unpublished authors got wacked?

BuffySquirrel said...

Of course, the murdered writers have all also visited EE's blog, thereby throwing the muttonchopped one under unjust suspicion!

Dave F. said...

They always ask if a tree falls in the wood and no one hears it, does it make a noise?

If a writer dies (in the woods? in the arms of a $4000 ooops, I digress), does he leave anything behind? Do the words survive him?

The answer is only if he has a will and preserves the legal writes (don't blame me, blame Neil Gaiman. He even has codicils on his website)