= Chapter 1 =
EE bore down and tried to speak clearer. “Where are they?”
“Where are what?”
“My pills! I can’t function without my pills!”
“You’re gonna have to. You’re too sick. Too broken up. I’m afraid they’d kill you if you got into them in your condition.”
The woman hipped her hands and splayed her elbows. This widened stance was meant to show her position on this matter, but all EE agreed with were old and tired breasts hanging weighty and pleasantly before his eyes, unrestrained by any under things and crowned by large and feisty nipples!
“Are you the vision that revived me with your sultry lips?” he tried.
“You’re the famous Angry Editor?” the woman queried, a wordy book project playing like an old B movie in the back of her mind.
EE sighed. “I am. Why? Are you going to show me your life story?”
The eyes on this woman mirrored the nipples, and they too glared at EE. A feeble erection rose from him- perhaps a swordsman’s attempt at a final parry- barely stirring the heavy duvet that was draped over his large and fulfilled middle and tucked rather motherly about his neck.
“See?” EE pointed over the mound that rose before him. “See! I need my pills!”
“Please! I must insist! For without them, I cannot function! And if I cannot function, I cannot read!”
The woman simply glared. When she shook her head, her breasts danced and raked across the inside of her blouse. In this light, she resembled a tall Mother Teresa with a grander bosom but possessing the same austere and depriving eyes.
“I will dole them out to you, chapter by chapter.”
“Deal! Now let’s get to chapter one!”
(This woman was like an angry nun with a frying pan. EE would later lose his sanity from a blow to the temple. The twelve remaining Viagra tablets he consumed at the last would give him one final hour of old glory, and then he’d dot his final “I“.
But not until he’d read it first. Not until he’d read the whole thing aloud to her, and told her why he’d liked it.)
“Chapter 1,” he began. “How I Lost My Virginity…”
--Scott from Oregon